What now?

So, yesterday the company that I've been working for had suddenly shut down. Well, technically, they are still up and running, just not as well as they were just a few days ago. Basically, this company I was working for is an e-commerce that sells things online via Amazon, ebay, bonanza, and other online selling platforms. And their biggest one, which is Amazon, was unfortunately shut down out of the blue. So they had to let go all of their employees. Sadly, I am one of those people.

I don't plan on going into details on what happened or how it happened. All I know now is that I'm unemployed...again. I mean, I was just unemployed about 8-months ago, which is when I was just starting out with this blog. I know it's been a while since I last blogged, but I gotta say, I really am not sorry for that. I mean, I was occupied with work. I recently got another dog. And I've been bombarded with ideas. I know. Just ideas. So what, right!? You know, I've always had this problem where I can plan and have ideas, but I could never find myself really sticking to that idea. I have all these plans but nothing really gets done. It's sad, really. The worst part is that I know what I need to do to even get it done, it's just that I'm not really going after it. Let's just say, I'm lazy. No, no, no. Actually, I'm just too self-conscious. I doubt myself. Way too much. And I know I need to stop doing that. And start going after all my ideas. One day at a time.

So now I'm in a public library attempting to apply at jobs online. You know, I find it weird that nowadays, I can just stay in one place and be able to apply at multiple jobs, simply by logging in online. Back in the day, you would literally have to go door-to-door at every establishment to ask for job applications. Hmm, just something I thought of. 

Going back to...ahh, I don't know. I was mainly blabbing about being unemployed, again, and being stuck with ideas and no actions. I'm pretty sure I've said that before--being stuck with a bunch of ideas but not taking any actions. Sometimes I just want to crack open my head and yell at my brain cells to stop thinking so much and start doing stuff! It got to that point where I'm so overwhelmed with every thoughts and ideas that I could literally go crazy. And I am damn sure that it has contributed to my ongoing anxiety issues. Man, that's going to take another blog post.

Well, to summarize what I've been up to for the past 6-months, since the last time I blogged was in January, it's been pretty placid. (Hey, I just learned that word!) I was working for an e-commerce company that sold stuff on Amazon, eBay, Bonanza, and other online selling platforms. Unfortunately, I got laid-off due to "unforeseen circumstances". Now, I'm unemployed, behind a couple of bills, will probably be homeless soon, and I'm filled with entrepreneurial plans but shy from taking any actions. Actually, it's really got to do with money, which I don't have; hence I can't move past my current entrepreneurial ideas. Hopefully I get through this "bump" and begin my life. I mean, you know, a better life.

With all my best.


Happy new year! Wow, is it really another year and another year has just passed? That's crazy! It feels like it was just 2014 going to 2015. I still remember when my boyfriend and I were celebrating 2015 in Waikiki, right after I finished work. We both stayed in town to watch the fireworks instead of driving all the way to his parents' house since it was just a little under 30-minutes before midnight. We just went ahead and joined in the tourist-filled Waikiki beach to watch the fireworks. I even remember losing my wallet for a few minutes until a complete stranger noticed us looking for something and gave us my wallet back. Gosh, everything this past year went by so fast! I feel like I haven't really done anything productive. Well, except maybe when I moved to Cali. I guess you can say that I've done some ballsy act this past year. Haha.

So, 2016, huh? I don't really have that many things planned for 2016. I mean, aside from, hopefully, getting back in shape, I think I'm pretty much just riding the wave and going along with the flow. But, knowing myself, going with "the flow" isn't one of my strongest quality. I'm a very "plan ahead of time" kind-a-gal. I like to keep track of my plans or whatever endeavors I'm putting myself into. So, what are my plans so far? The main thing I want to be doing in 2016 is getting accustomed to the California lifestyle: work, eat, play (like all other lifestyles LOL) and basically getting my financial straightened out. I really need to get my acts together and get paid for it! Seriously, I have got to get me a job that pays well, give good benefits, and will absolutely help me pay my bills on time with extra for some fun-times. Oh and 2016 is apparently when all my friends are getting married AND my high-school class 10th-year reunion. Holy sh*t! Almost forgot about that! My class reunion!?!?! O-my-God! Seriously? Am I really getting that old!?!

I guess I better get going. I definitely need to get me a better paying "job" to pay for all those expenses that I'm having this 2016. Gosh, this new year already sounds so expensive! Welp, I better get my acts straight, pronto!

[But first, let me take....a moment to give thanks to our Lord God for every blessings in 2015. I pray and hope that 2016 will be a much blessed and better year for everyone, especially to my friends and family, near and far.]



Starting all over again

So this past August, I decided to quit my job and move over 5,000 miles from the land I've known for the past 16 years to a place where I only know 2 things about: 1- my brother lived here so I know that and 2- Disneyland was just an hour drive from where he lives. I cannot even tell you how terrified I was in the beginning. When I turned my 2-weeks notice to my old boss, all I could think of was "how the hell am I gonna keep up with my bills?"

Well, of course I had money saved, for about 3-5 months--- the amount of months that I assumed would have me unemployed. But now that it's been two months and with little to no call back from potential employer, I'm starting to get SUPER nervous! I did get an offer last month, but that was completely bogus. An employment agency didn't disclosed with me that the job offer was for a temporary position. If I had known that in the beginning, I would've still take it. Actually, I did take the offer. But that’s because I was repeatedly told that it’s a full time position. The only reason why I'm no longer working there is that I was abruptly told that the position is no longer needed, after working there for just for a week. I felt so betrayed. And I HATE being lied to. I was told during the interview that it's a full time position and then five days in my new "job", I get told that I'm no longer needed. Say what!?!?! I was so mortified that I walked out a few hours after being told that crude information. This is why I feel like I'm never getting a job and end up buried in debts and unable to live on my own =(

On the contrary, in attempt to stay positive, I am continuing to look for other jobs. However, I'm being more careful this time, making sure that the job is really what is stated on the job post and that it not only matches my skills but also something that I can keep for a while. In addition to that, being that I have more time to do other things, I realized why not start a blog site. I've been keeping track of my life in notebooks, but I keep losing them. At least the internet will always be there, right? As long as I never forget my web info, then I can keep blogging to hold me accountable towards the many adventures of this new life journey. From starting school (again) to getting my first job (hopefully, very soon) and to finally, getting my own place. My dear furbaby is craving to be with me inside the house, again! I can’t wait to see how my future will be. I know I’m not anywhere close to attaining my fullest potential, but I’m damn sure that I’m on my way there. As an adage say, “slowly but surely”. Little by little, with drive and perseverance, I am certain that I’ll make it out here in these wild, crazy cities of Southern California. Yeah, I just referred to “cities” because I’m not quite sure where I eventually will settle in. I am closer to San Diego, but I see myself driving more often to LA side. But I think, eventually, I’ll settle with San Diego. It just feels more “homey”. But I’ll figure that out much later.

Moving out of state have provided me so much hopes-- so much more things to look forward to. I mean, living in Hawaii was great. You know, all the things that Hawaii is most popular for: the beaches, the food, the people, etc. But after living in a place where your driving or travelling adventures are limited to certain areas, I could not wait to be able to drive all over the place other than the same old places in small beach towns.The thought of doing road trips and going to other places/cities, far far away, without having to ride a plane, is certainly appealing. Yes, I have my doubts. But I’m hoping it won’t be long until I can finally say that I’m happy here.

A hui hou, Hawai’i nei!

California, please be nice to me.

7 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Turned 27

About 2-weeks ago, I celebrated my 27th birthday (I seriously had to pause for a second to remember my age). It feels like I just turned 24. I can't believe that was actually three years ago. *SIGH*

After realizing that I'm no longer in my early 20s, my mind got suddenly bombarded with all of the "should've", "would've", and "could've" thoughts. All the things that I wish I had done. The places that I wish I have gone to. The things that I wish I knew before I got into my late 20s.

1. Attend a community college first.

Back in high school, I had a group of friends who were a bunch of overachievers, straight A's, extracurricular takers, and just overall great students. So when it came to planning our post-high school activities, majority of us (yes, me included) were automatically drawn to attending a 4-year university. Most of us took our SATs at the same time, shared with each other which universities we're applying to, and celebrated together when we got our acceptance letters.

Five years later, I'm over 30K deep in student loans. So what does a 20-something do to pay all of that? Let's just say that craigslist, indeed, and my gmail account became part of my daily rituals. I searched for jobs-- day and night--for about a year or so. It took me, literally, 2-years before landing a job that paid enough to support me and all of my student loans plus other pesky monthly bills (car, rent, electric, food, etc). Sadly, it's been 4-years now since I finished my undergrad studies and I still haven't paid half, probably not even a quarter, of those stupid loans. I really wish I attended a community college first. Not only it was cheaper--much cheaper--than a university, I could have had more precious time with my family and I would have probably only accumulated a third of what I owed now.

2. Spend more quality time with my family.

When I was in college, I was only 30-minute (plane ride) away from my family. The air fare at that time was very affordable. In fact, a round trip ticket back then would only cost me $80. I could easily fly back home to Kauai, where my family lives, and back to Oahu for school.

Since my boyfriend at that time was still living on Kauai, I would go home on a weekend once a month to be with him. Although I was home, I rarely took the time to be with my family. Other than going to church on Sundays with them, most of the days, I'm with my ex. Frankly, up to this date, I can't recall a moment where I had the best time with my family during those years. The only ones that I remember are the arguments or misunderstandings between my parents and myself.

As I got older, I became more concern with the condition of my family, especially my parents.  Whenever I feel like I need my mom or my dad, I'd suddenly get sad because I'm not physically with them, as it has been for almost 10-years. Back when my mom had cancer, I felt so helpless. Luckily, at that time, I was working for a small inter-island airline, so I was able to fly back-and-forth for free to see how my mom was doing. Then, when my dad developed arthritis in one of his knee, I had no idea it was so bad until I watched him work on one of his landscaping jobs. I was instantly flooded with guilt and sadness. I wish I had taken advantage of those times when I could've easily gone home and spend some quality times with them. All those times that I spent with other people, I wish I could get some of it back to have it with my family. I wish I knew then how much I would miss my family now.

3. Study for a career that I really want.

So when I went to college, other than partying, I also focused on what I thought would be an easy and fun job to get after I graduate. Since Hawaii's economy was heavily dependent on the hospitality industry, I thought I might as well major on that. Therefore, I graduated from the school of Travel Industry with focus in Hospitality Management. I ended up working for 3-different companies--all hospitality industry related. Despite the fact that I enjoyed meeting people from all walks of life, none of those jobs really felt like my calling. So altogether, I'd quit. I think it was just last year when I finally realized what career I really want. The only negative aspect of this is that I wish it came sooner, like while I was still doing my undergrad studies and before I used up 30K of student loans, the realization that I want to be a Physical Therapist. While all my friends are working happily with their initial chosen profession, I am back to ground zero. Yay me! -_-

4. Weights and protein shakes.

I'm not going to elaborate why I wish I'd  known about this before. I merely want to emphasize that running long distance, not lifting more than 5-pounds of dumbbell, and disregarding a protein shake after a workout are not the only way of getting or keeping fit, especially for women. Although I'd actually known of this when I was 24, I'd like to say that at 27, I'm better informed of the benefits and the end-result of lifting weights and proteins. And yes, that's all based from real life experience, which I'll cover in another topic down the road. First, I need to get back up and work on my fitness, once and for all.

5. Save money for unexpected events.

When it comes to topic of money, I keep mum about it. I tend to ignore it rather than really think about how to set aside funds for any type of ventures or events.

So recently, I quit my full time job at a prestigious hotel and moved over 5000 miles to obtain my "calling" to become a Physical Therapist. Originally, I didn't know for sure when I will do the move. I wish I had really known how much money it involves to start a whole new life in a different city. Now that my so-called "savings" account is quickly dwindling, I become more and more stressed about money. I mean, I never worried about money this much in the past. To make matter worse, I'm living with my estranged brother with his wife and kids. I can't even afford to get my own place! I'm figuratively holding onto threads attempting to carefully budget the remaining dollars that I have.

6. Be cautious of "friendly" people.

According to various Psychological studies, there are several types of humans that one will encounter in life. (And yes, I just read that in my psych class.) I guess it's natural that we don't know who the person is until we truly get-to-know that certain individual. I can't say that I've met all types of human by now. But I wish I've known about those who I befriended before I even felt a tiny speculation that I'm just being used for their own benefit. Before I turned 27, I thought I knew enough about people's attitude or hidden agendas. I thought I had enough knowledge about how to deal with certain people. Clearly, I was wrong. Or I guess I just wished that I never had to deal with such inconsiderate and ungrateful people. Nevertheless, there are still people in my life who I consider friends, despite the fact that I'm miles away from all of them. 

7. Travel as much and as far as I can.

Now that I'm a couple of years away from turning 30, I wish I realized back then how easier and cheaper it was to travel. I wish I took advantage of the time that I had and the money that I was making to play all over the world. I shouldn't have put too much of my energy and focus on having my own place when my parents asked me to go back home or when my boyfriend's family welcomed me into their home (free rent!) But because I had too much pride, I insisted on having my own place. Meaning, whatever money I made was spent on rent, utilities, and food rather than traveling. But at least I can actually say that I'm an independent adult, right!? 

Nonetheless, I really wish I took the chance to be able to travel freely and not be afraid of odd circumstances. With my current financial situation, I don't think I'll be able to travel anytime soon. Plus, I'm constantly worrying about things that could or might happen when visiting other places. I know it has to do with the media; but who doesn't get scared of the thought of being kidnapped or trapped in a plane crash? I know, it's just all in my head. That's why if I was given the chance (and the money) to travel now, I'd be on it in a heart beat!


I'm aware that some of the things I listed are based on "common sense", like saving money for the unexpected stuff or being cautious about people we encounter. But the main thing is that I was able to identify them now. So the next time I do or plan something, I'm using all of these before making another foolish mistake or decision. Let's see how well I do in the next year or so.